To Begin…

I never started a blog, mostly, because I hate bloggers, or perhaps more correctly what bloggers believe themselves to be.  For the most part I feel as though they are pretentious, delusional, self-important types that assume they have something relevant to say that other people should hear, and perhaps more importantly that they think others will find relevant.  This is completely ludicrous.  I’ve always thought to myself, if you’re that smart, funny, or relevant go out and get yourself published for real.  However, since I don’t foresee anyone wanting to publish my random, passing thoughts/ramblings/musings anytime in the near future, I figured I might as well use this a sounding board.  Seems better than  having these thoughts/ramblings etc running circles in my mind trying to work themselves out, which inevitably fails since said thoughts just keep doing laps.

With that being said, I read blogs just like a lot of other people do. Some I love, and some I simply love to hate. Most of the ones I love have been successful, and gone on to become legitimately published; I think that statement speaks for itself. The bad ones, well, they are often poorly written, and only occasionally funny. It’s really the bad grammar and spelling that depresses me the most. If you haven’t even mastered how to write at a third grade level, please, spare us all.  I hope my words won’t cause you physical pain like some blogs have caused me. Also, let me just add that I loathe uselessly negative comments. Now before you assume I’m the type of mentally weak person that can’t take criticism, let me stop you. I have survived four years of art school and am currently in graduate school; I have experienced every kind of criticism you can imagine, and I know its value, when constructive.  So really any ridiculous, mean, or stupid comments will simply make me hate you, because they will force me to feel immensely sorry for you. Why? Because I will know that you have no life, since you have nothing better to do than leave unproductive meaningless words on a silly website.

Enough of that; I’ll jump to the chase, perhaps a little too late. What led me to the stunning decision to start this dreaded, technological trend we call a blog was a simple conversation over dinner, with my mother.  I made a comment about my dinner plate, which led to a semi rant, which then led to other things that baffle me. For anyone who knows me this sequence of events in not surprising.  So what was it on my dinner plate that bothered me? The garnish.  I can’t think of a single more useless thing on the planet, (okay I probably could, but still) and its presence on my plate(s) always annoys me.

I respect the artistry that goes into making food and plating a dish, but I fail to see why that translates into creating strange things that look like something other than what they are made of (just keep reading the sentence eventually it’ll make sense).  I don’t want a rose radish; who wants that? Piles of shredded carrots, and vegetables shaped like flowers do not enhance my dining experience. What bothers me the most is how this is such an absolutely ridiculous waste of food.  Ok, that one leaf of lettuce that your tasty appetizer is sitting on doesn’t seem like much, but it adds up, and pretty soon the entire produce section of the grocery store is sitting on your plate for show and not consumption, and will shortly end up out back in the trash. Stupid. My mother suggested that I share these feelings with others in the form of a blog.  So the rest of this blog will follow in the same vain; I will be writing about things that annoy, excite, puzzle, disturb, or confuse me, basically anything that makes me emote. If I’m being honest I have to say I’ll probably be writing more about stuff that irritates me, because I dwell less on things that I think are great.

Also, I hate blogs that are not frequently updated. However I have to say that this one will be updated sporadically at best, and will also be irregular in length and content. That’s just me.  I promise to be consistently inconsistent

I’m not going to say happy reading because that would imply a belief on my part that people, other than myself, will be privy to these strung-together-words, and that’s simply not the case. So, instead, I’ll say this: until the next time something out of the ordinary or exceedingly ordinary happens, peace.

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