Squat Much?

It’s unfortunate, but it’s also a fact of life, the use of public restrooms that is.  Everyone has to use them; I mean we spend more time at work, school, etc than we do in out own homes, so I’d say we are all well acquainted with the horror that personifies public restrooms.  The fact is, however, that the lady’s room is a much more terrifying thing to confront than the men’s room.  Even if men’s bathrooms were as dirty and gross and women’s it wouldn’t matter, because they get to stand up and pee.  They’re safe.  And, because I have, on occasion, used a men’s restroom (single person of course) I know that they are never as disgusting.  This troubles me.  In general men are more slovenly than woman, but somehow they manage to keep their bathrooms in order.

I often wonder, when in public restrooms, what women are doing in there. There’s toilet paper everywhere, various fluids all over the floors and sinks, so what gives? These things are all irritating, because it is very simple to put the toilet paper in the toilet bowl, the paper towels in the garbage, and to get the soap on your hand, but what really baffles me is women’s penchant for squatting.  Why, why, why do women squat over the toilet bowl? The way I figure it,  they are perching themselves above the toilet seat because there is something on it that they do not want to encounter, understandable, but how did it get there? Because one of your fellow squatters, with bad aim, came before you and defiled the seat.  So here’s my point, my main point, people squat to avoid other people’s bodily fluids, but if no one ever squatted, then no one would ever need to squat, because nothing would be able to get on the toilet seats in the first place.  So stop squatting! Also, if you’re one of those freaks that’s afraid of toilet seats then use those handy, paper toilet covers that are so kindly provided.  Or you can consider the fact that door knobs are more dangerous to encounter than toilet seats, it’s a fact, so unless you plan on licking the toilet seat, you’re safe.

Also, if you people weren’t so busy squatting like idiots then perhaps the line for women’s public restrooms wouldn’t be so insufferably long.  Just sayin’.

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