Here’s To Future Days

September 23, 2011

“Did you say it? ‘I love you. I don’t ever want to live without you. You changed my life.’ Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it, but every now and then, look around; Drink it in ’cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow.”

Life moves so fast, and things can change in an instant. So maybe it’s not even advisable to be a ‘planner.’ I’ve always liked to know things ahead of time, get things done early, and know where I’m going to be and what I’m going to be doing in advance. My former stepdad used to call me Dinkins after the former mayor of New York City, because he said I always had to know everything and was always asking a million questions. I guess most politicians are like that. Anyway, I’m starting to think that perhaps living in the moment, for the most part anyway, is the better route. When you make plans and things don’t work out its generally very disappointing. Now this can be anything; it can be a small thing like a dinner with friends or something big like an engagement/wedding (I mean obviously planning has to go into this but you get my point)

The thing is people are strange creatures. We can never really predict what someone else is going to do, or what they may be thinking. And sadly most people are liars, so believing people’s word can be risky at best. I think it was Bob Dylan who said: “Most people don’t do the right thing. They do what’s convenient, then repent.” Something like that anyway.

 

My point is perhaps the best any of us can do is enjoy each moment of our lives as it comes. And not try to plan for future happiness or contentment, because I’ve come to realize that it’s when I start making plans that I usually find myself the most hurt or disappointed in the end. One way or another. Perhaps the best thing we can do is enjoy the happy moments as they come, and then when they pass (as they inevitably do) look forward to the next one. But who knows maybe people can’t change, maybe we’re doomed to repeat the same mistakes our whole lives. Maybe I will always be a ‘planner.’


As Easy As Making Change

August 9, 2011

Let’s talk about the ‘check-out’ experience, i.e. paying for products and or services at a register at the end of a transaction of sorts.  These days I often pay for things with my debit/credit card so this isn’t a problem most of the time. However, when I do pay for things with cash I get annoyed every single time.  Why is it that the person giving you your change always hands you your recipe then tries to put the change in your hand on top of the receipt? This often results in the change falling out of your hand onto the counter or floor.  Idiotic.

This is not rocket science (whatever that is supposed to entail); logic would dictate that you put the change–separate objects–into the palm of the hand THEN place the receipt–a solid object–on top of the change.  But that never happens, ever. This also applies to handing you change on top of your bills, just as stupid.

Clearly this is not an earth shattering problem, but it is one of those little annoyances in life that just irritates me because it is so illogical.


52 Count

May 9, 2011

I spent around three months of my life reading these books, luckily it was not a waste.  I passed my MA Exams, at the loss of my eye sight and sanity, but hey I guess it could have been worse.  One more paper to go and I’ll be done with school for good, which is very surreal.

Now if my body could stop fighting the insane amount of pollen, i.e. if my eyes would stop itching and I could stop sneezing every 2 minutes, then maybe I could get this done and start tending to all the neglected aspects of my life.  8 days to go…


Too School for Cool

February 11, 2011

Soo, I have to read approximately–truthfully I’m too afraid to get a hard count– 55 books by April 29th.  Oh yeah and I have to memorize all the information contained within those book as well.  Fun right? Well, with that being said, blogging about my pet peeves/things I love will simply have to take a back seat until I graduate, unless something really pressing presents itself.

Wish me luck…


And So It Begins…

January 5, 2011

I have been calling New Years and un-holiday for years now.  People make such a big deal about New Years Eve, as if what you do on that particular evening will steer the course for your entire year to come.  Well, it won’t.  I have spent many years going to parties and/or bars on this un-holiday and have never had an evening without something going awry.  And even if nothing goes wrong, you’re still going to be packed into a room with a bunch of people you either don’t know, or don’t care about, and will probably have a drink spilled on you. Or possibly get your tooth chipped by an uncontrolled, flying hand hitting your beer bottle into your face (this happened to me one year, seriously).  I say just make sure you’re with people who are important to you, because that’s what matters all year anyway.  With that being said, Happy New Year, hello 2011.

What bothers me more that the hype surrounding New Years Eve is the aftermath of ringing in the new year.  By this I mean the barrage of weight loss commercials on our televisions, radios, and computers.  This had been driving me CRAZY for years.  If January (and possibly June) are the only time of the year you think about how fat you are/have gotten, then that’s your first problem.  Why is is that people think they are going to change their entire lives because a new year is starting, as if a new year will magically make all your bad habits disappear; it will not!  You can’t change your life by changing your calendar; you have to actually change.

What’s more hilarious is the ridiculous products that companies tout during this vulnerable time of year.  I will not get specific, but I think you all know what I mean, you know the products that promise you will lose 20lbs in two weeks, or that you will lose weight by essentially doing nothing, hilarious.  Clearly none of these things are possible, and if you happen to buy one of these things and you do lose weight, it is guaranteed that you will gain it all back and then some, trust me.  And when this happens you will probably fall back into the apathetic state-of-mind that you were in in December, until next January.  This is the cycle, and it’s infuriating.

I don’t make new year’s resolutions because no one ever keeps them, and I like to follow through on things.  However, no one want to a hear a resolution that you can actually follow through on; people make unrealistic goals for themselves because they sound good– losing tons of weight, quitting all bad habits, stop talking about people ever– this immediately sets you up for failure.  Anything in life has to be done gradually, it may be annoying, but that’s the way it is, deal with it; it’s called maturity, and clearly most adults don’t have this.  In any event, let’s all just get over the furor of the new year; yes it’s 2011, I hope it will be awesome too, but I don’t expect my life to change overnight because the year did.  I had a great New Years Eve with my awesome boyfriend, so this is not a bitter rant, just a statement about the sad state of our instant gratification society.

Also, all the people who willing allow themselves to be corralled into barricades, like animals in Time Square for the ball drop, are ABSOLUTELY INSANE, without a doubt, no way to argue otherwise.

Good Luck in 2011 : )


“ADVICE, LIKE YOUTH, PROBABLY JUST WASTED ON THE YOUNG”

December 4, 2010

Ya know sometimes you just need a little motivational speech, am I right? I decided to take a break from research to write a post before I go into “end-of-the-semester-hibernation” mode. Ok, let’s think back to the late 90s, and the infamous “Sunscreen Song” that was played on the radio perhaps a bit to frequently.  The story was, that this was a commencement speech set to music.  Well in actuality it was a 1997 column from the Chicago Tribune, written by Mary Schmich.  Through a series of events director Baz Luhrmann came across the column, figured out the origin, and bought the rights in order to make a song, which was set to Quindon Tarver’s “Everybody’s Free (to Feel Good).” In any event, I happen to love the “song,”  and have been listening to it lately as a way to keep things in perspective as school gets more and more stressful with the semester coming to a close.  The advice can be rather cliched at points, but also funny, endearing, and honest.  With that being said I share the column (and song) with you:
(The Sunscreen Song)
Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

Alright, times up for me, back to work. I’ll return to the world on Dec 21st.


There Is A Tide In The Affairs Of Men

October 29, 2010

It’s crazy how quickly time passes us by.  In a lot of ways I feel like it was just yesterday that I was this small 8th grader getting ready to leave the only school I had ever know, my second home for all intents and purposes, and start high school. It was such a scary prospect at the time; I had spent the last 10 years of my life in one place, with the same people, and suddenly everything was about to change.  It’s the same when we leave high school , and then college. When things like this happen you go into survival mode, it’s just human instinct, and you tell yourself that nothing will really change, that you’re still you and your life is still your life.  You think you’ll still see those people, and know those people, but as we all know, that’s usually not the case; these are the things we tell ourselves to make any transition easier.  No one like to say goodbye, and the truth is some of the people I spent 10 years of my life with, well, I walked out those doors, and I never saw them again.  For the most part that’s how things usually shake out in life.  We don’t like change, we fight it, but things are always moving, shifting, whether we like it or not.  Everything can change in a second, we’ve all seen it happen.

i have love for you

We let people slip out of our lives, and sometimes that’s okay. Not every person you know is meant to be in your life forever. I think that maybe we are supposed to spend a certain amount of time with certain people and that’s it, we move on.  But some people are “lifers,” there for the long haul.  You can usually tell pretty soon after becoming friends with this person that you want them around, pretty much forever.  These are the people with whom you can really be yourself, and say what you mean, and not have to apologize for who you are no matter what.  These people are rare. If you’re lucky your recognize that significant moment of realization; the moment when something probably stupid and small happens that makes you realize that you know this person, even if you don’t know everything about who they are, where they come from, or where they are going, you just know that you know who they are, and that they know you.

However, that doesn’t mean you always get it right.  I’ve seen people let go, and watch this slip through their fingers because they were too scared, or stubborn, or foolish to change it.  For the most part we always have the opportunity to make things right, but most of us don’t.  It’s an easy thing to tell the people you love, well, just that, that you love them, but we don’t. We spend our lives chasing after things that mean nothing, and people that don’t deserve our time or affection.  Before you know it all you’ll have are a bunch of yesterdays and not very many tomorrows. Because it goes fast, faster than we can possibly realize.

You never know when people won’t be around anymore; people leave, and die, and things go wrong that we can’t predict.  But we don’t think about that stuff, because it’s too much to live with everyday. So we focus on school, or work, or whatever else we waste time with, but the way I see it, people are what matter.  When we get to the end of the road our diploma is not going to keep us company and our job is not going to curl up with us at night.  If we live our whole lives and all we end up with is a lot of education and an amazing job, but no one standing next us, then what’s the point? None of it matters if you’re alone. Whoever that person may be, that person you can’t imagine living your life without, tell him/her (and sometimes it’s more than one person, if you’re fortunate enough you have a significant other and a friend who mean everything), and if you’re really lucky, I mean the luckiest person in the world, then they say it back. Sometime we aren’t so lucky, sometimes the people we love just can’t love us back, and that’s when you realize it’s time to move on, and find someone that will.

Did you say it? ‘I love you. I don’t ever want to live without you. You changed my life.’ Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it, but every now and then, look around; Drink it in ’cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow.”

The truth is it’s about choices. Believe it or not we do have some control over what happens to us, and then sometimes we don’t.  Sometimes other peoples decision change our lives, and there is precious little we can do about it.  We all have so much power over each other and I think sometimes we forget that. We can make each others lives better, and we can also devastate each other.  Unfortunately, you can’t have one without the other.

My point is: life is short, opportunities are rare, and we don’t get unlimited chances to have the things we want; you may never get another chance to tell someone that you love them.  So do it today, right now, because if you don’t, then you’re a fool.